I was sat in a hospital waiting room reading a Christmas present book and really enjoying it when the plot ‘thickened’… It was set in a Convent. Oh dear, I know all about convents from my school days. They all loved Halloween (Sam Hain) however and it didn’t take much to change them from nuns into witches. They all took their black veils off and donned black hats for the day. Massive iron couldrens appeared, cobwebs were hung, turnips sculpted and we had a massive party. There were some great characters whom we all liked but there were some that we all detested. There was one nun who was making a cup of tea in the war when a bomb fell through the refectory roof. It didn’t explode but it was such a great shock that she carried a cup and saucer and teapot around forever. ‘JE’ (Sr Janet Elizabeth) was famous for her ‘jolly hockey stick’ approach to life and famously chased a burglar around the turrets of the castle with one. In a chemistry lesson one day a mouse wandered in. Twenty screaming girls jumped up onto the work tops in and amongst the Bunsen Burners but JE grabbed the mouse’s tail and threw it out of the window. Another nun Sr Olive told us she had had a vision to join the Order. She drove a moped and wore a red helmet with her veil streaming behind her. She once tried shaving her hair off under her wimple but spikey bits grew up through her veil. In the book 200 nuns ripped their veils off to reveal their shaven heads and walked in a zombie-like trance to kill the ‘rogue’ Mother Superior. I collapsed into a fit of giggles.